reminder: be kinder to yourself

it’s so much easier to pay attention to others around you; i’m finding myself apologizing for my differing views, staying up late into the night to console a friend, and even putting my work life and social life on hold for the people i care about.

soon enough, every once in a while, my social battery wears out before i even realize it and i start to crash. people around me ask what’s wrong and question why i’m not myself. i’m more irritable. more apologetic to others. staying up a few nights a week wondering what i did wrong instead of getting a good night’s rest.

the thing i refused to see back then was that there wasn’t anything necessarily wrong. my mental battery is just drained because i used it on others versus myself.

with the hustle and bustle of the world, we’re almost programmed to move at lightning speed — if we stop, what’s the point in it all? but the more we neglect ourselves, the more we realize that we’re neglecting others around us, too.

it’s okay to say no. 🙅🏻‍♀️

i worked in a fact paced retail store for most of my college years, and since we were typically short staffed, i always received a text once a day from my store manager, seeing if i had the time to come in for a shift for a few hours. because i loved my job, i felt obligated to say yes, i felt like i owed him my time off.

i eventually overworked myself, and worked for about 22 days straight with no days off. by the time the 23rd day came, i got that text message, and broke down in tears. i spent nearly a third of my summer at work without being able to work on my own side projects.

it was a painful experience, but now i know it’s okay to say no. if you feel that you don’t have the mental capacity, whether it be hanging out with a friend for the fourth time that week, not wanting to go into work because you have other obligations, or even just taking a personal day to reset — it’s okay to do that. it’s okay to say no.

unfollow without any regrets. 💬

it’s incredibly easy to follow tons of people with the help of social media, and just like real life, we are who we surround ourselves with.

i realized this year that i followed a lot of women with unrealistic body types, and i was still connected to people from my teenage years who i wasn’t friends with, but i didn’t dislike them either.

a lot of these factors contribute to how i feel about myself — when i see women with these body types that i can’t achieve, i’m reminded of my mom’s perception of body image — that women exist to please men and we should try to achieve a certain beauty standard, no matter what it takes. when i see that i’m still connected with people from my childhood, i ended up remembering all of the negativity i endured while growing up. keeping these things didn’t benefit me or move me in the right direction.

i did a complete sweep through of my following list on instagram, twitter, and facebook. i unfollowed people that i couldn’t relate to, and i deleted friends on the terms that if i needed help, i wouldn’t be comfortable contacting them.

i never realize when a stranger or acquaintence unfollows/unfriends me, and chances are, they feel the same way. if they aren’t contributing to your success, you don’t have to feel guilty.

pamper yourself. 💅🏼

everyone’s version of pampering themselves isn’t just putting on a face mask, drinking wine, and watching a movie while you sit in your lush-bath-bomb-infused bath water.

you deserve to pamper yourself everyday in any way — whether it be having a nice cup of coffee, unplugging and taking a hike at a local trail, or even just changing your bedsheets to clean ones.

personally- i learned to experiment with my nail polish a ton, and i’ve been getting into the habit of flossing twice a day and doing my skincare by moving all of my products to the bathroom instead of the bedroom. these things make me feel happy, especially when i’m feeling as if i’m in a rut or after a long day. i’m taking the time for myself by making my fingers look cute, having great hygiene, and okay skin.

it’s hard to be a human being living on this mysterious lump of mass called earth. you deserve all of the little things that make you happy. treat yourself. (treat yourself gif from parks + rec here)

being kinder to yourself is difficult, i know. but (i am respectfully asking you to) cut yourself some slack. you’re doing great, sweaty ✨

what do you do to make yourself feel better? how are you moving towards being kinder to yourself and others? shoot us a DM on instagram and let us know 💌

until next time,

— J ♡